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Should I Let My Kids Fail?

Trustful parenting is the most natural form of parenting where parents allow their kids to make their own decisions and trusting their children’s instincts, judgements and ability to learn from their mistakes. By allowing our kids to face failure, they learn to find solutions to it.

According to child and adolescent psychologist Dr. Jennifer Hartstein, kids that are constantly bailed out of problem situations will come to avoid situations where they might fail. As they grow older that can increase anxiety and depression when they need to depend on themselves in tough situations.

Mistakes are a chance to learn, perseverance and grit allow us to find solutions. It is not easy to watch your kids experience difficulties but it is important for them to embrace failure and find their own path to success. By allowing your kids to fail, you allow them to learn something from it and teaching them how to adapt to new and difficult situations as they encounter later in life. Our kids must learn that failure is not fatal and does not permanently close future doors. Success is the result of learning from failure, persistence and hard work.

The goal is to practice and give your kids experience in making decisions. Help your kid to make decisions and think through all the possible repercussions before decisions are made. Evaluate circumstances, consider alternatives and weigh pros and cons, then offer your child the opportunity to reflect on how the decisions worked out. Give your children control of their own decision-making as it becomes age appropriate. It takes time for your kids to develop self-control while they are learning to make choices. You want to raise a child who feels good about themselves and takes pleasure in making good decisions rather than bad ones. Good judgment comes from experience and experience comes from bad judgment.

Being a parent is not easy but it is one of life’s most rewarding experiences.